How to prepare for the arrival of a second child?

Before the arrival of the second child: activate preparation mode

Preparing your eldest for the arrival of a second child

Just as you anticipate the arrival of your future little wonder, also prepare your eldest. Explain to them what is going to happen. You love them and you have decided to grow your bubble of love, also known as your family. Read our interview with coach Maëlys Le Levreur who explains it well. We don't apologise for bringing a new baby into the world as it is our choice as parents. However, you can include your eldest in the preparations, such as choosing the cuddly toy!

Putting together your birth kit

Sort through your first child's belongings. Clothes, furniture, bed, changing table, Moses basket, pram… Depending on their date of birth, the season and their condition, some items will get a second life. After sorting, you will have a clearer idea of what you need now.

Arranging childcare on the day of your delivery

To avoid stress, plan who will look after your eldest on the day of the delivery. Grandparents, trusted neighbours, friends, babysitter… Let them know they are one of your emergency contacts and can be called at any time. In advance, also pack your child's bag with them — the one they will take if they sleep elsewhere — so as to create a fun and complicit moment for them.

Making changes gently

The arrival of a new little one is sometimes an opportunity to change beds for your eldest. Since they are going to become a big brother or big sister, it's time to move to a big kid's bed (and incidentally because you need to get their baby bed back)!

If they are very attached to their bed or still too young, don't deprive them of their sanctuary. There are alternatives such as bassinets or Moses baskets for a newborn's first months.

If they are ready, then celebrate this transition as it deserves. Value your little one who is growing up and, above all, do it well before your delivery. Not only will the transition be smoother, but you will also avoid too much change when you return from the maternity ward.

Our tips for preparing for the arrival of a new baby

Preparing a celebration for your new family

The idea is to welcome the baby, but also to celebrate your new family! Include your eldest in the preparations and the celebration. They could organise it with the co-parent or family while the mother is at the maternity ward with the baby.

Stop feeling guilty

If your time is not always unlimited, your love is. Your heart will grow in many ways, and so will the hearts of the whole family! So, stop thinking that your eldest is unhappy because they no longer have all your attention. Instead, they have a little brother (or little sister) with whom they will share many laughs and a relationship for the rest of their life.

Accept

On returning from the maternity ward, your first child may go through different phases: jealousy, regression ("since everyone is only looking after the baby, I'll become a baby again too")… This last phase is sometimes necessary to better find their place. Your mantra will be: "every phase is temporary".

Include

Finally, you can include your eldest in daily life with your newborn. Ask them simple questions like "the baby is crying, do you think they're hungry?" The idea is not to make your child feel responsible, but to get them involved!

To go further, listen to this episode of La Matrescence.

The Charlie Crane team